Woman of the Week: Jackie

This week's WOW is a longtime friend and yoga student.  Both Jackie and her husband Dave regularly came to my yoga classes in Poulsbo for years.  They travel often to offer vet services to foreign countries that need assistance, have a sweet Air Stream trailer and a bundle of grandkids they love and adore.  

1). In the last five years, what new belief, behavior or habit has most improved your life?

I finally figured out that it is ok to say no.  It’s very liberating to realize I don’t have to please everyone.  I still want to be there for the important people in my life and by letting go of toxic relationships I have more time for those people.  It has also allowed really good friendships to blossom.

2). What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

I don’t know how to answer that. 

3). What is the best purchase that you have made in recent memory?

The best purchase has definitely been our Airstream.  I never thought I would want to own a travel trailer but it has been a good purchase for us, we’ve already taken a road trip with two of our grandkids and hope to create more memories taking many trips in the future. The bonus is that we can take our dog with us.

4). If you could have a giant billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?

Find something to be grateful for every day.  When we can find something we are grateful for even during our worst days it can change the way we deal with hardships and makes us appreciate the good times.  I think finding gratitude for even small things keeps us grounded

5). When you feel unsure or overwhelmed what do you do?

Every time I’m faced with difficult situations I turn to my husband and we work it out together.  One of the best things about of our relationship is that we just naturally support each other when life throws crazy at us.

6). What is your biggest problem, issue or stumbling block in your daily life?

The little voice in my head.   I am a positive person but I can be my own worst critic. 

7). How has failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?  Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

As I have gotten older and had to learn many life lessons I realize that there is life after failure and I have to let go of what’s not working in order to open the door to better things.

8). What is the most memorable thing you have received in recent memory?

My last birthday present was a show at Disney World with all four of my grandkids.  Anything that involves my grandkids is guaranteed to make me happy.

9). Who inspires you to be your best self?

I would have to say my grandkids inspire me.  I want the best for them so I know I have to lead by example because they are paying attention.

10). What would you tell your 21 year old self?

You are a strong woman; don’t give someone else the power to silence your true self.

11). What would you be doing right now if money wasn’t part of the equation?

I would travel a lot and take my family with me as much as possible

12). What three things are foremost on your mind right now?

I am trying to stay focused on my commitment to be my healthiest self.

I am worried about the negative energy that is surrounding us right now.

Having just come back from Uganda the poverty I saw in the small villages is definitely on my mind

Thank you for sharing Jackie, I miss seeing you in yoga class!

XO

Titanium

Woman of the Week: Sue

Please join me in celebrating Sue this week.  She is my friend Cyn's sister and while we have never met in person, we stay in touch with Facebook...

1). In the last five years, what new belief, behavior or habit has most improved your life?

Faith over fear

2). What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

something i want to try and hopefully will become a habit is stand up paddle boarding

3). What is the best purchase that you have made in recent memory?

Bought a new jeep  first new car IN OVER 14 YEARS AND i LOVE IT  Just not a fan of having to pay for it.:)

 you could have a giant billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?

Be sure you vote  Ths is so very important now

5). When you feel unsure or overwhelmed what do you do?

Retreat to think thing out and regroup

6). What is your biggest problem, issue or stumbling block in your daily life?

Taking care of my husband

7). How has failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?  Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

When thngs dont go as expected  go your own way

8). What is the most memorable thing you have received in recent memory?

a bike charm from my son with a heartfelt note about our bike trip to the south if France

9). Who inspires you to be your best self?

my kidas and my grand kids

10). What would you tell your 21 year old self?

get ready for the ride

11). What would you be doing right now if money wasn’t part of the equation?
Lving on the beach in Kauai

12). What three things are foremost on your mind right now?

gettin my house on the Big Islamd done on my budget

the craziness sthat is happening in our countrty

How to enjoy the rest of my life

Bonus question:

When does bravery become foolhardy?  this is a toughy  Not sure that it does ever if you beleive in the cause and can make it work.

Thanks Sue!  As a new car owner myself after 15 years I understand the love of the new car and the not so much about having to pay for it...

XO

Titanium

Woman of the Week: Joy

Please join me in celebrating my friend Joy this week.  Her post is a little late this week due to the fact that she is running for public office and has been busy knocking on doors and doing interviews.  I met Joy eight years ago and this woman is a powerhouse who has worked in several different areas over the years, recently working helping seniors with their healthcare options and doing substitute teaching as well.  Her nickname is Mama Joy and she is one of the most awesome people to come into my life in recent years.  I know that she will do her best for her constituents when she wins her race for election.  All the Diva love to you Joy!

1). In the last five years, what new belief, behavior or habit has most improved your life?

Do what you think you cannot do - Eleanor Roosevelt

2). What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

Leaving my Taffy cookies out to get stale before I eat them. (Hey they get soft I love it)

3). What is the best purchase that you have made in recent memory?

A white “pleather” crop jacket for $20. Original price $90

4). If you could have a giant billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?

I’d want it posted right off the Narrows heading into the 26th District and I would want it to say - VOTE JOY STANFORD FOR WASHINTON

5). When you feel unsure or overwhelmed what do you do?

Cry and go into my myself and meditate

6). What is your biggest problem, issue or stumbling block in your daily life?

Time, I don’t have enough time in the day

7). How has failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?  Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

Failure to me means success - because it means I am continuing to try and re-try - When I stop trying that would be the ultimate failure

8). What is the most memorable thing you have received in recent memory?

Text message from my granddaughter telling me she was proud to hear I was running for office

9). Who inspires you to be your best self?

Any and all women who are making a difference to make the lives of other women better

Glennon Doyle

Brene Brown

Nina Turner

10). What would you tell your 21 year old self?

Eat healthy and exercise

11). What would you be doing right now if money wasn’t part of the equation?

Calling bingo for Seniors and traveling to Mexico

12). What three things are foremost on your mind right now?

Raising money for my campaign, doing well in my upcoming interviews, doorbelling the most doors I can

Bonus question:

What do you continually ask yourself?

Have I done the best I can? And if not, how can I improve.

Thank you Joy for taking time out from your busy campaign to share with us.

XO

Titanium

Woman of the Week: Bonnie

This weeks's Woman of the Week is Bonnie, who I met through my yoga classes.  She has been inspiring on so many levels.  We have also spent time talking after class and learning more about each other.  Here is her interview..  

1). In the last five years, what new belief, behavior or habit has most improved your life?
Embracing the phrase - It’s not you, it’s them.  I first thought this was absolving responsibility for interaction and wasn’t having it.  After really noticing people’s responses, it became clear that it’s a really good general guideline.  And even more, I realized that in many interactions, the people I’m interacting with are giving mixed signals about what they are communicating.  Sitting across from someone in conversation there are so many clues as to how this person believes what they say.  Many either don’t care to tell the truth, or they don’t really know what they are feeling, or aren’t listening to what they are saying.  In written media it’s harder but there are still clues.  I’ve started listening with my whole body and heart, and feel better about being confused.  It really is them!

2). What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?
I love absurdity in all forms.  Skipping down the street, creating a new walk for the Ministry of Funny Walks (Monty Python), shaking off all sense of decorum.  I like to be a kid.  Dammit, I can grab the balls of life and have fun.

3). What is the best purchase that you have made in recent memory?
OK, I’m struggling with this question.  I have bought all sorts of things that I love, but it is a shallow love and I’m not above having shallow love.  So then there are the experiences that I have to spend money to do.  Those tend to create more change and lasting impressions.  The latest is a 10 day silent meditation retreat that was profoundly hard and raised more questions than answers.  I found some deeper parts of myself and avenues to work on.  And love and humor.  And when I find love and humor, all is well in the world.

4). If you could have a giant billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?
Be Kind.  It’s so simple, yet if we spend more time being kind to our self and others, the ripple effect could make our world so much brighter.

5). When you feel unsure or overwhelmed what do you do?

I stop and say a prayer that my grandmother taught me:

Encircling arms of love, 

Beneath,

Around,

Above.

There’s also one thing that I’ve been doing as I go to sleep.  I repeat the word trust, and allow my body to sink into the bed.  It’s funny and maybe a bit sad how much I don’t trust the world to take care of me, and it’s a good thing to try in a safe environment.

6). What is your biggest problem, issue or stumbling block in your daily life?
Me!  It comes down to attitude.  Generally speaking on a moment to moment basis, we don’t have to worry about dying, so most of our stumbling blocks is our attitude about what we are facing.  If I check on my attitude, I can change my perspective and things are solvable.

7). How has failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?  Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?
My favorite failure is a crystallized moment of time when I was 29 and thought my life was a complete waste.  Nothing I expected was happening, nothing I was working for felt achievable, I felt like a nothing.  Invisible and worthless.  A friend brought me to a psychic which I thought would be a lark and I would have sunshine blown up my backside.  Then the psychic told me that everything I was focused on was beside the point.  I was furious.  And then.  And then, gradually, I realized that she was right, and all the things I was grasping for were not in my control.  And beside the point.   And the world cracked open a bit and I started working on the things that I could do something about.  And because of a change of perspective, or a change in luck, or focusing on things I could change, things started going my way.

8). What is the most memorable thing you have received in recent memory?
Well, it isn’t the most fun thing to receive, but it is memorable.  I found out I had colorectal cancer.  I had to have surgery that changed the way my body processes food and waste.  I am “cured” yet I don’t function like I used to.  And it sucks.  So all the expectations that I had about my future came into question.  The amount of hubris I harbored and still harbor - it turns out it’s a pretty heavy load.  So I have to begin again, and make friends with my imperfect body and continue to try to find a happy balance between what is and what I expect.  And be grateful for what I have now.

9). Who inspires you to be your best self?
Yes it’s corny, but it’s my kid - an eye rolling teenager.  Besides trying like hell to raise a good human, I’m continually quietly challenged by the way she interprets life.  It’s so different than mine and if I’m listening, it challenges me to look at what I hold dear.  And some of the time, I’m totally busted on adopting social mores that conflict with what I value, so I have to fess up and reframe my parenting rules.  It’s humbling.

10). What would you tell your 21 year old self?
Cribbed from SNL, “I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”  It makes me laugh, but they are some wise words.

11). What would you be doing right now if money wasn’t part of the equation?
Exactly what I am doing.  I have every tool that I need to change my situation, and if I was super damn motivated, I could choose to do just about anything,  I’ve spent time thinking about what I think I’m missing - the dreadful YOLO (you only live once) meme.  I’m not motivated to change my circumstances.  I like what I’m doing now, where I live now, and my small scale and happy existence. I’m grateful.

12). What three things are foremost on your mind right now?
Politics

Climate Change

The Truth - the big ultimate Truth

I wrestle with those questions just about every moment, and am trying to reject the guilt and do what I feel I need to do.  It’s hard.  So I turn back to trying to enjoy every stinking’ moment and my tension starts to ease.  Getting my panties all wadded up isn’t going to solve anything.

Bonus question:

Who inspires a sense of adventure within you?
My husband who is a nutty entrepreneur.  He has no critic that says not to embark on something that is out of his wheelhouse.  We have always had crazy sky-is-the-limit conversations and we have done things like sell the house and go cruising on a sailboat.  Others might find it unsettling to reexamine everything during a dinnertime conversation, but I find it sparks a sense of openness and thankfulness to live in a time when we have ridiculous options at our fingertips at every moment.  And we can actively choose to wholeheartedly do the things we feel that we have to do everyday and every moment.  

Bonnie, thank you so much for sharing all of your thoughts and ideas!

XO

Titanium

Woman of the Week: Tonya

Meet this weeks Woman of the Week Tonya!  I met Tonya several years ago when she owned her jewelry supply business Whole Lotta Whimsy.  She had the best products and the most wonderful customer service.  She is also a jewelry artist that creates beautiful pieces in her brand new home studio in her new home.  She recently made a climate switch from desert living to mountain living and I see her going to all sorts of jewelry workshops to hone her already impressive skills.

1:  If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?
Yesterday is gone. Today is a gift. What will you do with this precious time. Live today like it’s your last!

2:  In the last five years what have you become better at saying no to?
It’s become easier to say no to taking on time consuming tasks or jobs that involve stress, anxiety and anger. I don’t need to start another business, be in a position of leadership (boards, committees, etc), join peer groups, or be the team mom. I am just focusing on me and my work these days and it sure is peaceful and satisfying.

3:  What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the "real world"?
It’s a cliche but it’s true....don’t sweat the small stuff. 
I did a lot of work in my 40’s figuring out my undesirable traits, admitting them, and making a plan to correct/change them. I’m a perfectionist driven by my successes and achievements. “More is more” used to be my motto. So for me, it was always about the small stuff because I’m about the details. It wasn’t good enough to do the bare minimum or even to do the average job. However in the end, if this is your last day on earth, you have to ask yourself, would you seriously waste time worrying or fretting about “that thing”. Pick your battles better in your work, your life, your relationships and your expectations of self. Lastly remember what Voltaire said “the perfect is the enemy of the good”.

4:  What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made?  (it doesn't need be financial in nature)
The time, teaching, advice, listening and love that I have invested in my child. There is nothing more important in the world than the happiness of your child. I feel a responsibility to make sure that my son, who is now a man, is a productive, empathetic, responsible, loving and joyful part of the greater community of the planet. I also wanted to do whatever it took to teach him how to treat others with respect, kindness and love. 

5:  In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?
Behavior: moving! Integrating daily workouts and movement has made me more productive, happy and healthy.
New Belief: no one needs to know your opinion and you don’t have to help others all the time. Just listen, nod and agree if you disagree. Voicing your opinion only changes their opinion about you and never about the topic or their passionately held beliefs.
Habit: stop and smell the roses. Seriously, stop to look at the sky, the buildings, the vegetation, etc. Visit more places by yourself, more often, so you have the quiet and you see the details because you are introspective. 
And stop eating carbs...they are evil!

6:  How has a failure, or apparent failure set you up for later success?  Do you have a favorite failure of yours?
There are very few things that I consider a failure. For me they are learning experiences and adventures that make me more successful the next time. If I had to pick one, I would have to say my first retail store because it was not as profitable as I wanted it to be. There are so many things that are part of having a profitable business but when you sign that lease, you have to do whatever it takes to make that location, size of space and business idea a success. That might mean extreme personal sacrifices of blood, sweat and tears but during that experience you will learn a ton. It’s that effort, drive and hard work that makes any experience a successful one. I loved my store and my customers and I learned so much from that experience that helped me make a more successful business with another store, a wholesale company, a marketing consulting company, and a coaching company. Each one lending New failure experiences to the perfect mix of ingredients. My newest entrepreneurial adventure is much more laid back. I’m launching a jewelry and design company. I’ve always been a designer/maker. I’m just manifesting it in a new way!

7:  What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months or in recent memory?
I would have to say that they are experiences at museums. I recently visited Washington DC and spent many days at the museums. They were actually free but so enriching. Not enough Americans take advantage of these treasures. I try to add a day to visit museums in every city I visit!
I also love buying books and researching stories that give me historical info to help my work grow and evolve. 

8:  When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?
Step back, take some 4/7/8 breathing (Dr Weil), and remind myself that it’s just a speed bump. Slow down, reflect, understand it’s not a big deal in the scheme of life, and make a new plan. I also remind myself upon waking and throughout the day that this day is a blessing and gift. It is not promised. How do I want that day to exemplify what I want to Do, Be, Have, and Become? Am I in alignment?

9:  What is the book (or books) you've given most as a gift and why?  Or what are one to three books that have greatly influence your life?
Greg Levoy: Callings
Jack Canfield: The Success Principles
Seth Gooding: Linchpin (I think all high school age people should have to read this book)
Malcolm Gladwell: The Tipping Point


10:  What is one piece of advice you would give to a woman that you wish you knew earlier in life?
Take better care of you girl friendships. Keep in touch and follow through.
Follow through with your communications in all areas of life.
Keep family first, always. 
Wake up and give thanks for life. 
Say no more than you say yes. You need to take care of yourself first. 

11:   What do you think about the theory of "the love of your life", what does that phrase mean to you?
I think “love of my life” can be cliche but you certainly can attract that romantic energy by knowing what you want. Most people don’t know what they want and wanting “love” is too vague. Knowing who you desire (just like knowing your target market) can lead to finding “the one”.
You can also have the love of your life through birth. My child truly is the love of my life. We are forever connected.
I do believe you can meet the love of your romantic life, and you know when you do. However it’s not enough. I believe we are not the same people in our 20’s as our 30’s etc. So we have to continue to work on ourselves, our relationships and our communication as we grow. I have been blessed with a husband who is not only my true love but my best friend too! Our love continues to grow and deepen because we put our relationship first and we work on ourselves individually and as a couple. 

12:  What is something that you would find most helpful in your life right now?  (what would be the best problem solved for you)
I have sciatic nerve issues so I will be dedicating more time to stretching and strength training. As I’ve gotten more movement oriented I’ve also gotten stiffer which surprised me! Ah the joys of aging. Physical health is just as important as our mental health. Thanks Sherry for the stretching exercises. I can’t wait to integrate them into my daily habit. 
This week I am hitting my “fifth level”. I can only imagine what I will have learned and achieved at the “sixth level”.

Thank you for sharing Tonya!

XO

Titanium

 

Woman of the Week: Mai

Meet this weeks WOW, Mai.  I met her seven years ago through a friend and she came over for a visit.  We have stayed in touch all these years through the magic of Facebook.  This woman is the one who gave me the nickname "Titanium" and it has stuck with me all these years and in fact has even more meaning now then when she first told me about it.  She runs her own counseling business, is a talented artist and is raising three amazing kids with her husband.  

Thank you Mai for sharing with us!

1:  If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?

Practice Acceptance.  I call the Serenity Prayer the most unused over spoken prayer in this world.  So many people say it.  So few practice it.  If more people used it and understood it then I believe there would be less anger in this world.  Learning to accept everything we can’t control and working on those things we can control take work and daily practice.  Eventually, it gives you peace of mind.  I’m sure this is what I would choose because I am in the depths of this practice.  Maybe in 10 years my answer would be different. 

2:  In the last five years what have you become better at saying no to?

This may sound awful but personal requests for help (outside of my professional business).  I have always been a person who gives and wants to ‘fix’ everyone’s problems.  I would take on everyone’s problems and become so overwhelmed.  It took me a long time to be honest with myself as far as what I am able to give and what winds up depleting me or taking me away from my family.  I realized, late in life, I have to be happy, healthy and terrific in order to help other people.

3:  What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the "real world"?

Do what you love not what is going to make you the most money…..unless money is what you love and then that’s you’re path and I’m probably not going to be able to talk you out of it.  Then I would say take your time.  These timelines we put on ourselves are ridiculous.  For example, “I have to have a million dollars before I’m 40!”  Says who?  I’ve seen young people stress out about graduating on time in college and it never made any sense to me.  Take your time and get the most out of it!  College is incredible and the knowledge you can obtain, not only in your field but others as well, is amazing!

4:  What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made?  (it doesn't need be financial in nature)

Leaving a high paying job 3 years ago to balance out my life was the best investment I made.  I am challenged with meeting my bills but it doesn’t stress me out as much as working for a company demanding so much of my time and energy.  My kids are better for it.  My husband is better for it.  My disposition is incredibly improved.  Due to my change the people in my life were able to change as well.  I feel I should have left a long time ago but I’m a middle of road soul so my learning abilities aren’t quick.

5:  In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

Acceptance.  I grew up in a Buddhist/Christian home but was told to search for my own beliefs.  I was told stories about each of the faiths.  I was allowed to attend any events of faith I wished.  I felt the most in tune with Buddhism and practice many of its teachings.  Acceptance is probably one of the most challenging things for people in our society.  Although it’s not a new belief or behavior it’s one I’m more focused on now in my life.  Being able to accept what we can control and what we can’t and not allowing bad or negative feelings to dictate our decisions is a big key to happiness; yet in our society it is not practiced well at all.  It takes awareness and mindfulness which I feel many people are out of touch with in this society.  I have hope and emit positive vibes towards it though.  I am hoping the newer generations (i.e. Z plus) have a better hold of the concept.  I’ve seen very hopeful signs with the new generations.

6:  How has a failure, or apparent failure set you up for later success?  Do you have a favorite failure of yours?

I don’t know if this is good or bad but I have so many failures in life to learn from that it’s difficult to choose.  I think the ones I think most about are my relationship failures and I mean everything from friends to family to acquaintances.  In my youth I just wanted so much acceptance and only as an adult can I look back and realize the mistakes I made and some of it is just downright embarrassing.  One of the strongest realizations I made in my 30s.  I saw how my gender tore each other down and realized I had participated in that for most of my life.  I decided I wasn’t going to tear down women any more but lift them up and I have been practicing that for almost 20 years.  I teach it to younger women and children in hopes we, as women, become more united and help support each other in all our endeavors. 

7:  What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months or in recent memory?

Learned Optimism by Martin E.P. Seligman, also known as the father of Positive Psychology, changed my life.  Being able to focus on your strengths rather than your deficits to overcome difficulties in life is amazing.  I bought this more than 6 months ago but I purchased it at a time when I was going through a very difficult divorce and I was kind of lost.  It helped me love myself again and find answers to life.

8:  When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?

There’s what I should do and there’s what I do do….unfortunately. Sometimes I just zone out and avoid the work for a while but then I cause myself undue stress.  If I make myself meditate, do some square breathing and return to my work it helps immensely.  I also have to think positive thoughts and tell myself I can do this. 

9:  What is the book (or books) you've given most as a gift and why?  Or what are one to three books that have greatly influence your life

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep The Little Things From Taking Over Your Life by Richard Carlson

Learned Optimism by Martin E.P. Seligman

The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama

10:  What is one piece of advice you would give to a woman that you wish you knew earlier in life?

I don’t know if I completely understand this question.  Earlier in my life? Her life?  In my life, even though I probably thought I knew everything, I wasn’t capable of dispensing solid, good advice.  If I could go back in time I would advise all women (even myself) the following things – 1. Be good and support your gender at all times

2. Don’t EVER be ashamed of your love and emotions.  They ARE strengths NOT weaknesses.

3. Believe in yourself and stand strong.

4. The best, most fulfilling but also most challenging (at times) relationship you can have is with other women.  (It’s the saddest thing in the world when I hear women brag about not having women friends).

11:   What do you think about the theory of "the love of your life", what does that phrase me to you?

So many things.  The love of my life could be my children.  It could be my husband.  It could be a moment in time.  Right now, having found someone who is so in tune with me and living a more balanced life it’s all of the above.  To me, I’ve always been surrounded by love but I was taught to be suspicious and negative towards it so only in my adulthood can I appreciate that I have always been a loving person, simply misguided at times.  I think the MOST important love of your life should be yourself….. not in a narcissistic way but in an ‘awareness’ type of way. 

12:  What is something that you would find most helpful in your life right now?  (what would be the best problem solved for you)

I have a real aversion to financial anything and I know it’s a challenge for me.  I think if I learned to have more respect and acceptance to its importance it would improve my life. 

Thank you Mai for your insightful and enlightening responses.  So much truth there and some of what you said is what prompted me to start this site and create this series.  As women we need to uplift and support each other and provide space to be seen and heard.

XO

Titanium

Woman of the Week: Britt

This weeks Woman of the Week is my bonus daughter, Britt.  She and my daughter were friends in high school and their daughters are just days apart in age.  She has moved with her family to Montana so we don't get to see them much in person, but there is always a Facebook update.  She's raising three kids and works as a Beach Body instructor, inspiring others in the health and fitness goals.

1:  If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?

“You are you and that is your superpower.” I think it can be easy to get caught up in the comparison game, especially now with social media. It’s so important to remember that we each have our own gifts and talents and way of being in the world that is unique to us... that should be celebrated!

2:  In the last five years what have you become better at saying no to?

Over the last five years I’ve learned that when I say “yes” to everything, I end up saying “no” to the things that matter most. I’m now protective of my time and energy, especially in this season of life as a mom to young kids... these years re precious! I’ve learned it’s ok to say ‘no’ and be intentional with my commitments and time.

3:  What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the "real world"?

Oh man... the transitioning from college life to the “real world” can be such an exciting time but it can also be overwhelming. My advice would be to embrace the change and everything this next chapter has to teach you. College doesn’t prepare you to take on the real world... there is a learning curve but don’t be discouraged. There is so much to learn from each new experience, enjoy learning and never stop learning.  “The day you stop learning is the day you stop living”

4:  What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made?  (it doesn't need be financial in nature)

The best investment I’ve made so far is in my health... not only through exercise but also making sure I get enough sleep, getting educated on vitamins and nutrients, eating (mostly) clean & making sure to drink enough water. I see such a huge shift in my outlook on life when I take care of myself and my body.

5:  In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

I have learned in the last 5 years, that I can’t pour from an empty cup. I can easily find myself doing a million things, running around and taking care of everyone else but me... but I have learned that when I take care of myself last, everybody suffers. I can’t show up to life as my best self when I neglect myself, so I’ve learned to make self-care a habit. 

6:  How has a failure, or apparent failure set you up for later success?  Do you have a favorite failure of yours? 

My favorite failures so far have been in motherhood. Whether it’s messing up a Pinterest craft or a recipe or forgetting about ‘show & tell’ day until we have to leave in 5 minutes... I believe there is power in showing our kids that it’s ok not to be perfect and that mistakes happen, it’s how we react to our failures that matter.

7:  What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months or in recent memory?

My lavender, stress away and thieves essential oils... #gamechangers

8:  When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?

When I’m feeling overwhelmed or unfocused I pray. I also will take a step back and reflect on what is causing the disruption & how to move past it.

9:  What is the book (or books) you've given most as a gift and why?  Or what are one to three books that have greatly influence your life? 

•You are a Badass

•Present over Perfect

•Girl, Wash Your Face

10:  What is one piece of advice you would give to a woman that you wish you knew earlier in life?

Just how fast life flies by, so don’t overthink the small stuff. Always find time for the things that make you come alive

11:   What do you think about the theory of "the love of your life", what does that phrase me to you?

Look, falling in love is easy... it’s staying in love is where it gets tricky. I believe that love is a choice. It’s a decision. It’s deliberate. You can choose to work and grow together as a couple and have that “love of your life” or you can choose to experience many loves in your life.

12:  What is something that you would find most helpful in your life right now?  (what would be the best problem solved for you)

I could really go for a glass of wine and a million dollars right about now... or if someone would like to come do my laundry, that’d be great too! 

Thanks Bwitt!!

XO

Titanium

Woman of the Week: Lynn

Please welcome this weeks WOW, Lynn.  I have known and admired Lynn for over 40 years.  We went to high school together and I was always so impressed with who she was, how genuine and kind she was and I thought she was so strong at a time in life when so many young people are struggling with knowing who they were.  Please join me in celebrating her today and appreciate the honesty in her story.  When I ask the women in my focus group to do these interviews, it requires some of them to step way outside their comfort zone and many don't understand the impact that their stories and wisdom hold. I am in awe of them all for the lives they live, the stories they hold in their hearts and their willingness to trust me to share all of this with the world outside the safety of our group.  

 1:  If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?

"BE THE REASON SOMEONE SMILES"  I believe any big or small gesture of love, praise, kindness or time, can make a difference in another's life either in the moment, their day or possibly their lives.  Your own life will grow in joy and purpose the more you show love in action.

2:  In the last five years what have you become better at saying no to?

I'm becoming better at saying, "no," to my, "no's."  In the past if something was asked of me that I felt was entirely out of my comfort level, I wouldn't hesitate or find excuses to say no.  I've been working on taking fear and self doubt out of the equation and learning to tell myself, "I can or should do this."   Trust me, it doesn't work every time! :))

3:  What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the "real world"?

When the paychecks start rolling in and you suddenly feel rich, don't start living beyond your means.  Live frugally for a few years and start saving for a house, contribute or open a retirement account and start making monthly payments for any student loans you might have.  You will be so much further ahead in the long run and have something to show for your hard work and sacrifice, versus, shiny new things that become dull overtime.

4:  What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made?  (it doesn't need be financial in nature)

My family, friends and faith.  I would be poor in spirit without any one of them.  My investment in them has enriched my life greatly.

5:  In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

By staying in consistent relationship with God.  I do this with prayer, praise, bible study, volunteering in church, and community.  Respecting all of God's creations, forgiving, asking for forgiveness, kindness, and humility.  I truly believe ones time, talent and treasure should be shared with others.   I have always been a Christian believer but my faith journey was much closer to the starting line than the finish line.  Through my actions of participating more consciously in my relationship with God, I have more hope, peace, love and joy in my life.

6:  How has a failure, or apparent failure set you up for later success?  Do you have a favorite failure of yours?

My never ending attempts at weight loss.  I come close to achieving my goal, then suddenly, sabotage rears it's ugly head.  Each failure has given me insight about my self, my triggers, my knowledge of good and bad nutrition, new ways to cook, new foods I have never heard of or tasted, so in that respect, it's not just lbs. I'm gaining!!:))  I've recently changed my priority for shedding extra weight, health before vanity, maybe this will fool the saboteur in me.

7:  What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months or in recent memory?

A foam roller.  It has helped me and my husband find relief with the aches and pains in our backs and hips.  

8:  When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?

What I do is determined by the situation that is causing these issues.  One I have always been predictable for doing is going straight to the junky/comfort foods in our house and if not desirable enough, drive to the nearest fast food drive thru.  Other things I do if feeling deeply burdened by life, is to write a letter to God, take a quiet walk with my thoughts, swim laps in our pool (season permitting) until I feel a calm come over me, there's just something with me and water, or I talk with my husband about it.  Sometimes all of the above in the same day! 

9:  What is the book (or books) you've given most as a gift and why?  Or what are one to three books that have greatly influence your life?

I love books, one of my favorite places to be is a library or bookstore.  Three years ago, I joined a book club, we are called the, Chic-lits.  Many books over the years have influenced, educated, brought me to tears or laughter.  What are they you ask?  Fiction, non fiction, biographies and self help books from gardening, parenting, cooking, dieting, relationships, spirituality and more, but as I write this, no one particular book or name stands out to me, sorry!  I do however, have an answer to, "books I've given," only because it's been more recent.  I have given those artistic adult coloring books more than once, along with a big box of colored pencils and a sharpener to my mother, 87 yrs. old, my mother in law, 82 yrs. old, and my friend who will be 90 yrs. old next month.  All three of them, quite often, show me their coloring masterpieces!:))

10:  What is one piece of advice you would give to a woman that you wish you knew earlier in life

Try to consciously define your own identity to yourself such as; your likes, dislikes, morals, values, goals.  Without those you may find yourself wrapped up into some one else's and wonder how you got so off track.  

11:   What do you think about the theory of "the love of your life", what does that phrase me to you?

I think that phrase has always been connected in more of the romantic sense.  I believed in that theory for many years.  My first love came at twelve, we eventually married when we were twenty one. We divorced twelve years and two daughters later, quite shockingly to me.  It took a lot of healing over the years to realize he didn't need to be the only love I could have, I could have better.  I met someone, opened my heart and eventually married.  We will be celebrating our nineteenth wedding anniversary this November.  Love is all around us, we just need to be willing to accept and give love back and enjoy the unpredictable ride love can be.  

12:  What is something that you would find most helpful in your life right now?  (what would be the best problem solved for you)

If I found a Genie in bottle I would wish for him/her to have the answers to curing all cancers.  My grandson Anthony just finished 3 1/2 years of grueling pain for the treatment of Leukemia.  My prayers are for him to stay in remission and my hope is that his and all other cancers will be eradicated sooner than later by endless resources of money, knowledge and dedication to finding the cure.  Of course there is endless problems to be solved in this world and I pray for those too, daily, but selfishly, I found the Genie and at this time in my life this is what most haunts me.  

Thank you Lynn for sharing your story and your dreams.

Check back next week for the next WOW and her story.

XO

Titanium

Woman of the Week: Sheila

This week we celebrate Sheila, someone I have known for 40 years.  A mom to three girls, a homeschooler, a volunteer and a grandmother.  Sheila, thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us.   

1:  If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?  Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His great love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” I find this scripture to be astounding & a wonderful illustration of love.

2:  In the last five years what have you become better at saying no to?   I'm a helper by nature & get satisfaction by coming alongside others, rather than being the leader. However, over the years my "helping" or volunteering began created stress instead. When my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer in spring of 2016 I was forced to limit my helping to just my husband and immediate family. Now that he's cancer free I understand not to over-book myself in volunteering. 

3:  What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the "real world"?  I'd probably tell them something similar to what I told my own daughters in their college years: Focus on your strengths, work on your weaknesses & always be eager to learn something new. Your outlook on life will influence your decisions & your future, so stay focused on the good in people & situations.

4:  What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made?  (it doesn't need be financial in nature) Homeschooling my three daughters has by far been the most worthwhile thing I’ve ever done. Yes, there was also struggle, doubts & times to re-evaluate my commitment, but it was such an adventure (kind of a rebellious adventure) that kept us close as a family throughout their childhoods. Despite (or because of?) my “patchwork” approach to homeschooling, two are successful college grads & my youngest has two years left to complete at the U of O. All three are strong, confident young women who still like to hang out with their momma.

5:  In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?  Life in general is so much easier when I am thankful. Learning to be intentional in being thankful, especially in hard circumstances, has brought me closer to family & to the Lord. I've always been a very positive & thankful person, but after reading the book, One Thousand Gifts, I have tried to find something to be thankful (grateful) for each day. Some days this was quite hard, especially while my husband was going through chemo & his outlook was uncertain, but just the process of saying thank-you to God for small things was so helpful.

6:  How has a failure, or apparent failure set you up for later success?  Do you have a favorite failure of yours?

7:  What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months or in recent memory?  A few years ago, I started planting flowers & small perennials in pots of different sized on my patio, which I can see them from my kitchen & family room windows. I have found that the process of planning, planting & tending to these flowers really, really makes me happy. Who knew? Just looking outside as I wash dishes from spring to fall makes me smile and uplifts my mood. My planted pots are a hit with the squirrels & hummingbirds, too. 

8:  When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?  When I'm overwhelmed with life I usually unplug from social media, clear off my schedule, pray about the situation & talk it over with my husband over a glass of wine, depending on the situation. If weather permits, going on a short hike or spend time outdoors helps to clear my mind & allows me to refocus.

9:  What is the book (or books) you've given most as a gift and why?  Or what are one to three books that have greatly influence your life?  As a follower of Jesus, the Bible has been the greatest influence on my life. I am an avid reader & book lover.  My favorite books are usually children's or middle-grade books, which is probably because I read most every book my girls did while homeschooling. Powell's used bookstore in Portland is like a candy store to me! I love to buy books for my grandsons in California, my new granddaughter in Seattle & my nieces & nephews. I've even managed to recommend a couple grown-up books to my 25 year old, which she actually liked.

10:  What is one piece of advice you would give to a woman that you wish you knew earlier in life? Don't care so much about what others think of you or at least don't let it stop you from doing what you want to do in life. As long as you are kind & generous, you don't need to be concerned about fitting into someone else's pigeon hole or expectations. (I wish I had heard this as a teenager.) 

11:   What do you think about the theory of "the love of your life", what does that phrase me to you? I think people can have many "loves" throughout their lives. Sometimes we don't actually realize how important (or less important) those loves are/were until we are older & wiser. The love of my life, however, is definitely Bill, my husband of 33 years. It hasn't always been an easy road, but at this point we can look back on our journey be grateful for each other & solid in our commitment for the future.

12:  What is something that you would find most helpful in your life right now?  (what would be the best problem solved for you) My biggest concern in my life right now is dealing with my aging parents & their medical needs. My dear Dad has Parkinson's and dementia and my Mom is having a hard time realizing that she IS actually elderly. We recently moved my Dad into a care facility & my Mom into an independent retirement home, where neither are quite happy. I don't think there's really anything that will help. It's just a hard time for them & for my sister & I as we do what we can to make these last years as comfortable as possible.  

Thank you again Sheila!

XO

Titanium

Woman of the Week: Cynthia

Please join me in celebrating Cynthia or as I call her Cyn this week for our WOW.  We met in 1996 I believe when we both worked for a small start up airline in Seattle.  We have stayed in touch all of these years.  She was the first person to tell me not to try to "drive it" and the first time she said that I didn't understand at all.  Well I was still a lot clueless in my 30's.  She's been a touchstone and a guide and confidante for all of these years.  And Cyn, I left the last part you included because I felt it was as important as all the rest of the wisdom that you shared.  Love you large!

1:  If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?

Do it – but check and alter your attitude if need be. 

Always do anything with love and by choice. 

2:  In the last five years what have you become better at saying no to?

I say “no” more to myself actually.  “No Cyn, you don’t want to skip Tai Chi this morning.  No Cyn, you need to get to your massage, the other things can wait for 90 minutes.”  So I’ve been saying “yes” to self care by saying “no” to that little voice that tries to get me to focus on things that truly can wait.

3:  What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the "real world"?

Focus on what you want in 5 years from now and keep that focus yet stay open to twists and turns you might find even more interesting as you go.  Nothing is cast in stone unless you say it is.

Keep a budget and plan for some fun within it. 

Network, network, network. 

Exercise and eat right.

4:  What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made?  (it doesn't need be financial in nature)

The time I’ve spent with my daughter, grandchildren and friends and family.  The time I’ve spent studying coaching.

5:  In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

I don’t have to do it all.  Ask for help.  Be ready for it to come from anywhere, even if you ask one person and they won’t or cannot, keep looking for support.

6:  How has a failure, or apparent failure set you up for later success?  Do you have a favorite failure of yours?

All failures have taught me oodles. Everything is connected.  Fail fast and quick, learn and adapt from it.  Stay curious, even when you think you can’t.  My favorite failure is more about failing and staying ‘stuck’ and not moving up and onward.  It’s okay to sit down by the side of the road and throw a pity party and blame everyone, but the less time you spend there the better time you will have giving yourself your power back to move it on and kick it up a notch.  Lean in to it – learn from it.

7:  What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months or in recent memory?  

Seriously, Alexa – Echo Dot.  She keeps track of my grocery lists, to do lists, appointment reminders better than even my iPhone does – because I can holler at her and review later, end of day, start of day.  That $30 was a good choice.  

8:  When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do? 

I breathe.  I sit in as much silence as I can find.  I get up and move about and change my physical view of things, do the dishes, play with the dog.  I take a break – whatever that looks like.  Then I come back, reprioritize using a list or a self-talk and get back on it or reschedule.

9:  What is the book (or books) you've given most as a gift and why?  Or what are one to three books that have greatly influence your life? 

What You Think of Me is None of My Business – and The Power of TED – Einstein’s Dreams – and many many more.  The Bible has been a great guide, especially Roman’s, the Corinthians and a few others.  There’s an old Sufi book I loved, but can’t find it right now!

10:  What is one piece of advice you would give to a woman that you wish you knew earlier in life?

Love your body, love your mind, be kind, manage your anger (it’s just your fear in disguise) and absolutely be your best self, every day. 

11:   What do you think about the theory of "the love of your life", what does that phrase me to you?  

I have a hundred loves of my life if not more.  Life is one long continuous stream of consciousness and as I’ve moved through it, I’m not afraid to have as many loves of my life (that life in that time) as is warranted.  Is there “one” love of my life?  So many ways to show and be and receive love – grandchildren, children, partners, co-workers – I have oodles of loves of my life.  As to the spouse/mate kind – I’ve seen it for others but not for myself yet – every man I’ve ever loved, during the time I’ve loved him – is/was the love of my life.   I think, throughout it all, I am the greatest love of my own life.

12:  What is something that you would find most helpful in your life right now?  (what would be the best problem solved for you) 

Aged, ailing parents and the system is so far beyond broken.  If someone could project manage and gain the right staff and people and surroundings for our elderly – that would solve about 100% of my current issues.  
 

It’s 722 am and I can’t think of anything else – Thanks for asking Digi-goddess – not sure it will help or do anyone but me any good to have gone through your questions – but it was insightful and made me think.  Thank you sweetie – hope you are feeling better soon.  More littlest lovey pics with you – and beach reports when able – LOVE to see you and hear you!!

Please join me next week for a brand new feature, Monday Muse.  I will be reaching out to women who inspire me that I have met through various points in time in my life and from all walks of life.  I hope to help compliment the Woman of the Week series and keep introducing amazing women from all over the world.

XO

Titanium

Woman of the Week: Laura

1:  If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it, what would it say and why?

Chelsea Handler said something that really resonated with me, "Laugh loudly, laugh often and most importantly, laugh at yourself".  I'd like a giant billboard that reminded us how important it is to make laughter a part of every day life.  I love to laugh!  People in general need to laugh more often.    I believe that laughing is good for your health, great for your soul and maintaining healthy relationships.  My ex-husband once complained that I was "too easily entertained".  I told him I considered that a gift!  (Sidebar, he did not have much of a sense of humor and rarely laughed)

2:  In the last five years what have you become better at saying no to?

For most of my adult life, I have been the Volunteer Queen.  Having three children brings plenty of opportunities to volunteer:  Brownie Leader, Girl Scout Leader, Soccer Coach, Assistant Baseball Coach, Carpool,Team Parent, Classroom Parent, PTA Secretary, Reading Volunteer, etc.  But there is also work related committees, and community volunteering.  The word No was simply not a part of my vocabulary.  Quite often I allowed myself to both volunteer and be volunteered to the point of physical and emotional exhaustion.  I still volunteer, but have learned to say NO as often as I need to to keep my life balanced. 

3:  What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the "real world"?

My advice would be to soak it all in. Every experience, every opportunity whether positive or negative outcome.  Each is an opportunity to learn, to grow.  Do not quit, give in or give up just because things get tough.  Don't be afraid to make mistakes.  Sometimes the best thing that can happen to you is to make a mistake. It is a great big world, and it is yours to conquer.  Remember to see the humor and laugh often. Have fun storming the castle!

4:  What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made?  (it doesn't need be financial in nature)

Hands down, the best investment I have ever made is time with my children.  First as a parent, cheerleader, counselor, teacher and support.  Then as they grew to be the fabulous adults that they are now, their friend.  There is not a better investment in your lifetime!  I treasure every single moment.  Second only to that is my investment in life long friendships.

5:  In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

 At age 37, while totally fit and healthy and playing on three soccer teams, my pancreas suddenly decided to stop producing insulin.  I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. No family history and I did not have gestational diabetes with any of my pregnancies.  Busy volunteering and working Mom that I was, I taught myself to band-aid the situation and soldier on. Add to that a divorce nine years ago and stuck in a high stress job that about killed me, and it is the perfect recipe for depression, weight gain and poor health.  I could not find success with anything I tried diet related and experienced one failure after another.  I had pretty much given up!  In September, without any notice, my daughter sent me a book.  The Whole 30. I read it, started following the recipes. It absolutely changed my life!  I have lost 25 pounds, am half way to goal weight and feel fantastic.  The Whole 30 has become my new normal.

6:  How has a failure, or apparent failure set you up for later success?  Do you have a favorite failure of yours?

On March 30, 2016 I left my job at the company I had worked for for 14 years.  I started there supporting a Physician in a CMA role.  After a few years, I worked my way up to Patient Care Coordinator.  Five years after that, I was promoted to Patient Care Supervisor.  I had a Practice Manager at that time who was impossible to please. Despite my successes on a corporate level, nothing that I said or did was right with her.  I allowed myself to be publicly ridiculed, emotionally abused and developed some post traumatic stress.  I was working an average of 60 hours per week, and still felt like a failure.  I had zero work/life balance. When it began to negatively effect my health, I decided to get out.  Huge, scary decision for big life changes. I now work as a CMA again.  When I leave work each day, my work stays at the office.  My biggest failure became my favorite failure and I am thankful every day.

7:  What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months or in recent memory?

Patent Dansko shoes for work.  Multicolored with bright pink hibiscus all over them.  I wear plain colored scrubs and wanted to do something fun with my day to day work clothes.  They are a great conversation starter and patients love them!

8:  When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?

Music is the always the answer!  Feeling a little blue, turn on some happy tunes.  Need motivation for housecleaning?  Crank it up!  Get in the spirit of the holidays?  Give me some Winter Wonderland.  I sing and dance.

9:  What is the book (or books) you've given most as a gift and why?  Or what are one to three books that have greatly influence your life?

Back to The Whole 30, which I have now given to several people as gifts.  I love to cook and entertain, am quite passionate about it actually, and often give books about that to family and friends.  I recently read Year of Yes, by Shonda Rimes, which has had a very positive influence on my life.  I realize how comical it seems since I just mentioned I have had to learn to say NO to volunteering, but I have also needed to learn to say yes to social opportunities.  :) 

10:  What is one piece of advice you would give to a woman that you wish you knew earlier in life?

Embrace your inner beauty, your strengths, your independence.  Love freely but do not ever lose yourself in that love. The older you get, the more important your girlfriends become.  Cherish and nurture those relationships throughout your life.

11:   What do you think about the theory of "the love of your life", what does that phrase me to you?

I am truly a romantic in every sense of the word.  I do believe for some, there is just one love. I know many couples who married young and are happily married still. I met the one great love of my life when I was sixteen.  We broke up when I was 18.  We reconnected and married when we were both 30.  We divorced when we were 48.  Our lives went in two entirely different directions, and the path he choose had restrictions that did not include me or my beliefs.  I have not given up on love and hope I find it again.  My Mom once told me that our lives happen in thirds.  The thirds may not be equal in size or experience.  I have started my last third by changing my career and location, and am hopeful there will be some lovely man to partner with.....

12:  What is something that you would find most helpful in your life right now?  (what would be the best problem solved for you)

 I know this sounds cliche, but life is good and I am very thankful.  However, I had a string of unfortunate events during the year after I left my killer job that have left me financially strapped.  If the Finance Fairies decided I was worthy and dropped a wad of cash at my front door that paid off said debt, I would be free and most grateful. (and if the Fed-Ex guy delivering my mail was handsome with a good sense of humor, that would be most appreciated!)  

Thank you so much Laura for your honesty and truth.  It is incredibly powerful to read about your journey and thoughts.  I have known you since we were both 16 years old and while we haven't always stayed in touch over the years, I am so thankful that Facebook brought us back in touch.  So much wisdom and life lived that these 12 little questions just touch the tip of the story, but I am forever grateful for the women in this tribe who share these parts of themselves with me and now with others here on the blog.

Check back next week for another WOW!!

XO

Titanium