Thoughts on the Day 4/26/18


Every next level of your life will demand a different version of you...

When we level up, we bring all that we have been to help create that new version of ourselves.  The reality is that we all change with time, circumstances, good things, the hard and while those changes may be so small as to seem imperceptible, those subtle shifts alter who you were before you walked through what was on your path.  

When I look back at my medical mystery tour (soon to be four years in June), my journey started with conventional medicine.  What I learned the hard way was something I knew before on a different level, but this time conventional medicine and my doctor failed me.  While his actions helped to save my life in the beginning, his refusal to listen to my feedback about the side effects I was having from the med he prescribed and his insistence that I stay on the med put me in further jeopardy.  His refusal to take me seriously about the side effects, his admittance that he didn't realize that some of what I was telling him was a side effect (I offered to send him links for his review) and the fact that he didn't truly listen to me and instead chose to keep me on a med I was having a severe allergic reaction to started me on a downward spiral.  Not to mention that I learned about scores of class action law suits surrounding the drug (Xarelto) and the fact that there isn't an antidote for it.  Yes a different doctor told me about that.  I was lucky I didn't end up dead.

Instead what I did get gifted with as a result of his negligence was 2+ years of pain, fear, more conventional medicine and care that further destroyed my health and at one point I seriously was contemplating suicide.  Luckily for me a friend pointed out that prednisone can totally fuck with your head and cause those kinds of thoughts and the fact that my histamine levels were so high and the hives so bad for so long, I had lost all hope of ever getting better.  I had just spent 8 months getting $4000.00 injections each month, to no avail.  

What kept me going was the determination and resolute belief that there had to be a better way than just covering up the symptoms with one more nasty ass med that was worse than the one before it.  I knew that in order to heal I had to find the visionary healthcare professional that would look for the root cause resolution and use the healing power of food, supplements and low impact meds to help me heal.  There were many who didn't believe that I knew my own body, doctors who told me they knew better than I did what was right for my own body.  Family and friends who didn't understand just how bad it really was and I continued to retreat in an effort to just survive another day on little sleep and the constant wonder of just how bad the day was going be.

So I called on something I wrote to myself several years ago to remind myself that I did in fact truly know my own body, my own strength and what was right for me...  "I'm gathering everyday the strength, power, endurance and wisdom to slay the naysayers."  It kept me moving toward what I knew in my gut, my poor destroyed gut, that I had to be determined and dauntless to get past that histamine hell and start to heal.  It took a little over two years but I did finally find the right care, the right med, the right foods, the right supplements and I have been improving every day ever since.  There have been a few small setbacks but as of right now it is looking like I will be able to start taking lower doses of my current med and eventually be able to get off the med completely. 

This was a path of discovery that I never would have willingly signed on for, something I wouldn't have wished on my worst enemy, but something evidently the Universe deemed necessary for me to experience.  This medical mystery tour honed my desire to overcome and rise to the task of boldly taking charge of my own health and being the catalyst for my own healing.  My functional medical specialist told me at my last visit that she always loves to see me because I am proof to her that functional medicine does in fact work.  I share my story because I hope it might help someone else suffering with auto immune issues, allergy issues and perhaps lack of quality care find the help that can change their life like is has mine.  Perhaps even if you are not suffering from a chronic health condition, there might be something in my story that sparks something in your to rise to whatever task is before you and get past what may be holding you back.  That my story may be a catalyst for change in your life on any level that you seek.  

The more we share our stories, the more we learn about one another, the more wisdom is shared and the better chance for connection.  It is what spurred me to create my website and share not only my stories but stories of others, because we all deserve to be seen, heard, supported and celebrated.