I believe in intuition, listening to your gut and paying attention or being awake. Yes, I know how easy it is to get distracted by life, by kids, by the news, by social media, by illness, family and the list goes on. I have varying rates of success staying tuned in and right now I am doing my best to ride the rails of staying as connected to my intuition as possible. I have learned over the years that the only time I tend to get myself into trouble is by NOT LISTENING TO MY INTUITION...
That being said, sometimes it is humming at a lower frequency than others, but somehow the Universe shows up to give me a little tap. For example, several months ago I found a yoga instructor on Instagram named Desiree Rumbaugh. She and another woman wrote a book together titled: Fearless After Fifty; How to thrive with grace, grit and yoga. I was intrigued, I mean I am officially over 50 and have been for a few years. I also was interested in their concepts of teaching to those over 50, which I have been doing for all of my 15 years of teaching. I have a mix of ages, but the longer I teach the more I am seeing the demographic age. I have my own ideas, have worked with folks with joint replacement and helping them come back to yoga that can be modified to fit their needs. So I was eager to see what they had to say and bought the digital version of the book. Not too long after that I saw there was a contest that she was promoting to win the book, so I signed up for it on a lark not expecting to win and promptly forgot about it.
I will be honest in the midst of everything going on in life I didn't get much time to really delve into the book on my iPad. Then one day an email showed up in my inbox telling me I had won the book, a signed copy of the book. I gave them my address and it arrived shortly thereafter. I put it on my nightstand when it arrived and starting reading it at night before bed. Then I saw that Desiree was coming to Seattle to teach some workshops and some training in what she calls Wisdom Warriors. I couldn't afford the training and frankly spending the cash on a workshop just didn't fit into the budget as I was dealing with more meds, supplements and buying fresh, organic, whole foods. So I just let go of it and forgot it.
Last Friday as I was getting ready to go to work and teach yoga at noon, I was running behind so I didn't do what I have been doing for the last couple of weeks, opening the book and reading whatever page I opened it to. I was walking down the street on my little island and saw a fellow yoga instructor walking with a woman and her husband walking with a man and said hi as I walked by. A few steps later I thought to myself that woman looked like Desiree and promptly turned around and walked back and said "excuse me but aren't you Desiree?" and she replied "Yes". I burst out, oh my god, I won your book on a contest I saw on Instagram! She looked me in the eye and was a little confused until I explained it and then I hugged her, tears in my eyes as I said "your book has been such an affirmation to me in my yoga teaching". She was incredibly kind and thanked me for coming back and talking to her and sharing my thoughts. She told me "let's keep it going" in regards to my saying that I have been teaching what she was talking about in the book for years. I wiped my tears and thanked her and then said "and now I am going to go teach!". I did tell her that I had wanted to come to her training and workshop but it just wasn't in the budget and I was so sad that I couldn't do it and then here she was walking down the street in my little town.
I taught my noontime class of loyal regulars, including some new regulars and just reaffirmed that I am on the right track with my teaching, with my new venture that I am plotting and planning. I texted my business coach/mentor Pat, who said "it's a sign. You're in your flow". She told me to open the book and read the first page that opened when I got home and see what it had to say. Two lines showed up that had the biggest impact on me: That you are tougher than you think. You are bigger than what you fear.
I am processing through some stuff, big stuff, deep stuff all while I am working on creating a way to serve in a different way that includes not only my yoga but also to help others live authentic lives without apology. That even as we age we can continue to create, change, grow, expand and be whoever we choose to be. That time isn't running out, you just have to decide to do it and find the support. I'm trying to build that support and refine what's important, learn what people need most and help them solve problems and maybe even get out of their own way a little to find the abundance in all areas of their life.
If I learned anything the last 3.5 years dealing with medical mysteries, doctors who don't listen, medications that create bigger problems than they were trying to solve and a medical system that is fueled by the pharmaceutical industry, I am tougher than I thought. I never stopped believing that there had to be a better way and I would find the right care to help me on my way. And yes, I am bigger than what I fear. I heard you Universe, loud and clear...