Thoughts on the day 1/20/18

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It's Saturday and I have my own shit to get done and I also get to be everyone's favorite person at work when I hand out payroll!!  The women's march is happening again tomorrow and last year I took my mom and we walked most of it.  This year due to some health concerns we will be skipping...  I will be there in spirit however..

I have been thinking a lot about the word 'empowered'..  Merriam-Webster defines it:  to promote the self-actualization or influence of.  Hmm..  Some days I have a love/hate relationship with the word.  I have to say I feel it has been overused.  You can hate me for saying that, but it's just how I feel.

Some days my empowerment is really just about survival mode, what do I need to do to get through the day with the least amount of bullshit and still maintain my grace.

Some days that looks like wild stretchy pants, shit hot boots, my spiked up hair, some sassy Smith Optics stunners and some pink lip sauce.  Hell let's face it, I always walk around with the hair, the stunners and the lip sauce.  I get asked at least once a week who does my hair or how great they think it is (no my hair doctor isn't accepting any new patients) and at least twice a week what I wear on my lips...  I discovered my favorite Clinique Super Balm in Grapefruit is being discontinued and I am incredibly bummed out by this.  It's simple and nothing flashy, but it is the consistency I love and nice and shiny and a good shade for me.  <insert heavy sigh here>

Here's a little story...  I used to be a buyer for a local women's store, clothing, accessories, SHOES!!!!  I was wearing a pair of red cowboy boots working on the floor one day.  A woman came in looking at shoes and quietly told me, "I love your boots, they look great on you.  I wish I could wear boots like that.  I just don't have the look or the attitude to do it."  My response was, "wear the boots and own them, the attitude comes with the boots (there's just something to me about wearing a good cowboy boot, it gives you the swagger).  Then after awhile every time you wear them you'll think about it less and less and just become the woman in the red boots".  She didn't buy any boots that day, I hope she maybe found some way to get a little red boot swagger in her life, her comment was so wistful.

I have a look, it's not for everyone, but it is me.  I have gotten comments and sometimes I think to myself "it took me a long damn time to find this comfort level in my look, my body and what I'm wearing and I am so damn glad I did".  I have received a lot of similar statements over the years about my clothing, my jewelry, my hair, my attitude and yes my propensity to say what every else is thinking but doesn't say.  I use the salty language, I love the salty language...  Sometimes a well placed Fuck is exactly what is needed in the moment.  They are just words after all...  I wear what I like, I buzz my hair (thanks Cin!) and yes I wear the stunners, sometimes even in the rain and inside...  

Find what makes you feel good and own it, live it, change it when you feel the need, but never let anyone else's opinion be the reason for you do something that you don't feel good about, EVER...  It's your hair, your body, your brain and yes, your uterus.  You might be surprised when someone tells you that you are an inspiration to them.  That comment makes me laugh to myself when someone says that.  Why you might ask, well because some days it's an effort just to get out of bed and get dressed and face the world.  Those are the days where I wear my wildest stretchy pants, spike the hair up extra and hold myself together with a spackle of hair balm, coconut oil, hair spray and lip sauce before I venture out into the wilds of life.  Do you baby, your heart and soul will thank you for it.