This lone little sparkler out in the deep water... Shining its light..
I have been thinking lately about the way it must feel when someone gets all their fear in check, gathers up all of their courage and speaks their truth, sometimes at great risk to their reputation and maybe even their delicate mental state or even personal safety... They decide against all of the things that could be telling them not to say anything to step forward and say something and then be met by disbelief. They could be made to feel insignificant, told they are lying, made to feel bad or shamed for saying their truth about something that happened to them. This brave person is rejected, made to believe that they are not worthy of restitution or a judgement in their favor maybe, or that whatever it is that is happening will stop.
I am thinking about the women who stepped forward to tell of their experiences with a trusted medical care provider after years of abuse and when they originally spoke out some were not believed, sometimes even by their own parents. That because they were young at the time that they can't possibly be speaking the truth about someone who is respected and trusted. I can only imagine the emotional upheaval that these young ladies faced. It took too many years for the groups of people, both men and women speaking about abuse and harassment to finally be heard and taken seriously. How many of them cannot step past their fear and speak of what happened, their shame so deep that those words just cannot come out. For those parents to not believe a child, as parents it is their responsibility to protect their child's safety in the world and to not do so is almost as criminal to me as the actual act that occurred. This also involved the entire world of gymnastics who chose to do nothing either, until the stories became so loud that no one could not hear them anymore. I know this happens outside of that world and in many cases goes unreported leading to disaster in some cases.
Then we have women who have come forward to accuse powerful men of harassment and abuse and how many of them were silenced over the years, who felt powerless to do or say anything because they felt no one would believe them. The rush in the last few months of those coming forward that have caused some of those powerful men to have to admit to their behavior. Those women got some press and some people picked up the ball and started talking about those without some of the confidence to speak up for themselves, without the means or the good education and higher paying jobs. Then we have to also look at the man in the highest office in the nation calling every single one of his accusers liars. Even with proof, he still calls them liars and he was elected by those who either chose to believe his version or didn't care enough to do any serious thinking about what that might mean to our nation. When another man in his cabinet is now gone because of multiple reports of abuse, recorded abuse, that he denies, this man who supposedly leads our nation sides with the abuser.
What does this tell our girls, boys, men and women about speaking up about things that have happened to them, about how to treat each other, about how to find some ground to move forward from together as humans? I have always maintained that sexual abuse and harassment is showing how weak the abuser is and less about the victim. The system though slowly moving towards center in reality is still stacked in the abusers favor. Things will only change in this nation and this world if we as a country demand that they do, that we set the standards of zero tolerance, period! No matter who you are, no matter where you live, ZERO.. Until we do that, there will be people that feel they are right in their abuse because someone else is getting away with it. That means you don't get to keep your status in the world, you don't get have freedoms to do as you please.
I believe that the pendulum is slowly swinging from the hard side of masculine toward the center and that many of the white and in some cases rich males in our society are fighting to keep the status quo because they know they are losing ground with being in the power majority. The feminine side of the spectrum is stepping further into the forefront, it has a ways to go and I would offer that we need to be able to be sure that in the rush to move more to that side of the energy that we do not go overboard. Too much of either energy isn't a good thing. While I believe with all my heart that the feminine should stand tall, proud and vocal about righting the so called scales, we need to watch that we don't lose perspective and roll over the good masculine qualities that we desire. I believe that the feminine can only shine with the balance of the masculine and we have to have open dialog and a willingness to come together to work for best of the whole.
Just my two cents worth... And I am a 'Bossie Blonde' who many make assumptions about and in some instances underestimate me. In my effort to do what I know in my heart is right I do push back when pushed, but I also do my best to listen to any rational discourse (rational being key here) and to stand up for those less able to do so when I witness shitty behavior. I cannot and will not stand idly by.